The unwritten rules.
Regrets. If we would have two plates. One for achievements that we are proud of. While on the other plate we would add all our regrets.
Which plate would win?
I could have
I should have
Because then I would have
But I did not do it.
Does that sound familiar to you?
As we grow up, we are learning about the unwritten rules. Those rules tell us the way we are supposed to think and act.
By strictly pursuing these rules we spend very little time and effort in finding out what we need. As a result of this, many of us end up with a constant feeling of being drained and exhausted.
The meaning behind the words: should/could/would is important for us humans. Or we would not be able to function. There are things we have to do to be able to:
- Stay healthy
- Hold a job
- Build and mantain healthy relationships
As well as being able to participate in society. So that we can create a life that we might want.
However, as important it is to should/could/would, it is also to Need.
As much as we want to be there for our loved ones, and get the perfect job, the perfect partner, and so on. We also have to be here for ourselves.
To fulfill what we need. Because we matter too.
When we were children, we had a strong connection to what we wanted. We were stubborn as well as vocal about getting our needs met.
But as we got older, we were influenced by the way we were being raised, our environment, circumstances in life. As well as other factors that shape us into who we are.
As a result, we lose touch with what we need.
Instead, we are being guided by the expectations around us as well as the ones we put on ourselves. Also called: should/could/would.